she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
