I wanna bring you to show and tell
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
