Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
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bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
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GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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