just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
