True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
