Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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