Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
