I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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