he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
