I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
