my sisters under your porch take her home
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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