absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
