these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
