I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
is that a dick in a sweater?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAS. BRING CRAB.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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