Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
