She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
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I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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