...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
