I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm too high and old for this...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize