where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
is that a dick in a sweater?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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