please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
