how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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