Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
