forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
