Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just found puke in my bra..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
