Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
