Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
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i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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