Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
