I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
