meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
