I'm going to jail i love you
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
