i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Hippo gnu deer
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
