she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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