In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
