remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize