this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize