he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
