he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
