dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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