So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have grass duct taped all over my body
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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