it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
