i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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