Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
