This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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