Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
