It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
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I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
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this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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