i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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