Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
