Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
