if only i could text you this smell
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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