His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
