I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
