We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
