Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
