Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
