Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
