Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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