We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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