party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So squirting runs in the family.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
