And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize