I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
wakey wakey hands off snakey
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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