Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize